


Cessation.

by duaa



Series: everything i wanted [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Crying, HAPPINESS FINALLY, M/M, and sad, im so happy, what a ride :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23948506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duaa/pseuds/duaa
Summary: He didn't know where the future would lead him, but all he knew was that things were changing.Maybe change was good.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Deceit & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Series: everything i wanted [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1677451
Comments: 25
Kudos: 122





	Cessation.

**Author's Note:**

> im shaking!!! this is the end yall!!!!!!

_****_

E minus 10 months

"So, guys, I'm done building Elsa's castle! Who wants to come?" Roman pranced down the stairs, flapping his hands excitedly. Deceit froze, unsure of what to do. He was also grateful that Roman hadn't created a beach or something Deceit would actually enjoy, this was something he would have passed on even if he was included.

"I would like to abstain, Roman."

"Ah, yeah, I thought you would! That's why I didn't make anything you would have liked. I know it sounds bad, but I swear -" Logan shot him a quick smile, silencing any further apologising. 

"Deceit, are you coming?" Uh. What? He knew that he was on better terms with everyone now, but it still surprised him. Ever since his birthday (and subsequently the day he had to go babysit Thomas), the tension that used to linger in the air was gone, reduced to dust. Suddenly, Virgil was a messenger, stumbling through his words until Deceit just started speaking for him. It was also for more trivial things now, no longer was he only required when they had videos to film, now they were voting on which pizza Thomas should eat and his presence was absolutely mandated. He definitely didn't mind, glad that he no longer had to stay cooped up in his room. It was also pleasant, being around everyone. There were no barbed comments, no underlying sarcasm. Even if he said nothing most of the times (because what if he ruined it?), he still found himself having fun and laughing at jokes. 

"I'd rather not, I'm afraid. I'm not a fan of colder weather." Logan nodded at that, as Roman pouted. 

"Are you sure? Are you really, really, really sure that it's because of that and not because you can't beat me in an Elsa impression?" 

"Positive." He smirked.

"Excellent, we can keep each other company. Would you be amenable to going through the memory archives with me? I have to find a particular memory and I could most certainly use your help." The others cheered as they scrambled up the stairs, running to Roman's room. Deceit nodded at Logan - that actually sounded really nice. 

"Lead the way." Logan took him along a long path, travelling in comfortable silence. He pushed open the door, Deceit coughed at the dust that swirled through the air. 

"It's from last summer, when someone tagged Thomas in their fanart. Thomas wrote down their username and promptly misplaced where he kept the paper. The last thing he remembers about the paper was that he placed it under his phone." Logan rattled off the details from a notepad as an idea struck Deceit - what if he tried to summon it? That was worth a shot, right? He hummed in response to Logan, turning around to find the shelf which contained last year's memories. He wasn't sure if it would work, and it would not bode well for him if he just stood there like an idiot in front of Logan. Logan busied himself with another side of the shelf, and Deceit tried to concentrate on summoning the memory, hoping that it would work. It... did not work. Trying not to let that disappoint him, he searched for any summer memories, the yellow glow something no one could miss. It was near Logan's side, a group of orbs faintly glowing. Turning them to check the labels, he -

"AHA!" Deceit yelped in surprise and Logan snatched the orb beside his hand, victorious. "Oh, this is so much better than a memory of the paper, this is the actual username! Outstanding job, Deceit."

"Ah yes, I definitely saw that." Logan shrugged, noting down the username. 

"What matters is that we found the memory. Also, Deceit, on behalf of us all, I wanted to thank you." Logan glanced at him, smiling slightly. Deceit was glad that Logan wasn't as indifferent towards Deceit as he used to be. 

"What for?" 

"This morning, had you not been there, Remus would've have definitely told Patton about his... ah, dream. It happened once before, and the result was... well, all four of us hadn't been able to stop him." 

Deceit smirked, bowing his head. "Pleasure to be of use." 

A pause. "Virgil told me you read Leviathan." 

"I'm assuming you have, too." 

They exchanged a look. This was more up Deceit's alley.

***

_  
****  
_

E minus 8 months

"PLEASE!"

"AH!" Who was yelling in his ear and why? Was that someone's hand on his bare chest? What was - 

"You're up, oh thank God, please -" Patton's tear streaked face came into view as Deceit batted his hands off of his chest. "Oh my God, Deceit I really need your help!" He continued to blabber, hair flopping this way and that way. 

"What for?" He snapped his clothes on, too tired to notice how he was wearing his usual shirt and jeans. 

"Oh my God, please just come with me!" Tears welled up in his eyes and Deceit winced. It was way too early (late?) for this. Stumbling slightly, he stood up, ready to appear in the light mindscape. Patton was walking towards the kitchen, whispering to himself, wh-

Oh.

 _OH._

There had been a horrible, horrible catastrophe in the kitchen. Someone's slime pet had exploded. The countertop was covered in green...goop. So was the electric mixer. And the burners. And the handles of all cabinets. There were streaks of green on the upper cabinets. On the walls. On the ground. There were exactly seven avocado pits lying around the bin. The handle of a knife was covered in said green slime. Patton's shoulders hitched and Deceit moved closer to him, wrapping an arm around him. Patton curled into him, sobbing. 

"Hey, hey, it's fine." Deceit snapped his fingers, watching as the green stuff disappeared, utensils flying back to their places, pits going into the trash - a plate flew _out_ of the bin. Even Remus was more clean in the kitchen. "Look, the mess is gone." Patton whimpered, burrowing his face in Deceit's chest. 

"Were... were you trying to making an avocado cake?" Deceit gently asked, rubbing Patton's back. 

"Yeah. I - I'm just not a, a baker!" He sniffled, tears slowly stopping. "Everyone, everyone thinks I am, b-but I hate baking! It's nothing like cooking, everyone thinks that it is, but it isn't!" 

"Okay, okay, so why do it at all?"

"Because everyone expects me to!" He blurted out, loud enough to clear any sleep lingering in Deceit's system. "Because it's supposed to be my thing, and they all heard about avocado cakes and really wanted to try it, so I told them I'd make it but I can't because I'm a failure and oh no..." He whined, sounding close to tears. 

"Hey, hey. It's fine. I know how to make that abomination of a cake, I'll help you." Patton looked up, eyes full of hope. Even if Deceit wanted nothing more to just abandon him and go to bed, he just couldn't say no.

"Really?!" 

"Yeah." He snapped his fingers again, as the ingredients came forward. "I think you should just tell them. If you don't like baking and everyone is convinced that you do, that would just burden you. It's better to just cut yourself free." 

"Yeah, I just don't know how to approach it. I mean, every time I would say something like 'oh you know how I was baking', no one lets me finish! They all start talking about how much I love it and just..." He scrubbed at his eyes. 

"Okay, except this time you just blurt it out. Just say it in one go." 

"I... I mean that's all I can do. Right?" Patton moved towards a bowl and Deceit's blood pressure shot through the roof. Directing him to the counter, he shook his head. 

"Uh, just sit there. Anyways, we could also stage a more dramatic reveal. You say something along the lines of 'yes friends I love baking' and then I show up and monologue about how you're lying and need to be thrown in jail." Deceit yawned, mixing everything together. Patton giggled, boy, was Deceit glad he wasn't crying anymore. It was incredibly distressing, seeing Patton and the crime scene. It also took him by surprise, he hadn't expected Patton to ever come to him for help. In the past he had always been quite clear about his distaste for Deceit's tendencies. 

"Thanks, Deceit. Really, it was super nice of you to help! Oh no, now I'm realising that it wasn't such a good idea to just barge in and wake you up like that! Oh gosh, I am so sorry!" Patton's expression wilted as Deceit shook his head again.

"I shall forever and ever hold this against you. I expect your life in return, Morality." He prayed that Patton would get that it was a joke and that he wasn't being serious. Patton placed a hand on his forehead, and sighed. 

"Well, I suppose I'll have to pay the price!" Oh thank fuck. "Will you be there tomorrow? I mean, in the morning."

"Are you going to tell them?" Patton nodded.

"I'll be there."

***

_  
****  
_

E minus 6 months

"Okay, okay, what else do you have?" Thomas rubbed his hands, setting aside the papers in his hands.

"Seriously?" Roman crossed his arms. "That was it!" He gestured to the papers peppered with red crosses, his ideas for new videos all rejected. 

"What?! That was like barely a page!"

"Princey, we seriously can not afford a delay right now!"

Roman scoffed, "It's not my fault Logan's schedule is so oppressive! I barely get any time to brainstorm with you, Thomas!" Logan shook his head, raising his hands.

This was getting out of hand. Way out of hand. Deceit wasn't sure why they were all pressurising Roman so much, Thomas already had two months' worth of videos planned and scripted. There was no need for this, conflict that could be avoided should most definitely be avoided.

"Thomas, if I may interject." He interrupted, loud. "We are planning for a video that is _two months_ away, yes?" 

"Yeah, we have time, but we still need an idea."

"Right this very second? Right now? Oh, my bad. You have a Sanders Sides video to edit, Shorts to edit and post, go through Joan's ideas for the script and the live stream, filter the submission for the next video, finalise scripts for two videos - but oh, an idea due in August, is needed now. Roman is not a vending machine. Besides, if you really want an idea, I'm sure Remus can provide many."

"I sure can! For example, you can make good old fashioned nude v-" 

"I... I guess, you're right. I'm sorry, Roman." Roman nodded, constantly repeating that he was fine as Deceit narrowed his eyes at the lies. They all sank out, reappearing in the Light mindscape. Deceit's eyes kept wandering over to Roman as he helped Remus string intestines round the plant he found in the living room. Logan had directly marched up to his room without a word. Patton and Virgil apologised to Roman once again, and then went on to the kitchen to make dinner. 

"Aaaand done! Thanks!" Remus grabbed the plant, sprinting towards the kitchen, intestines flying in the air along with him. Roman was sitting by the fireplace, furiously scribbling on the paper in front of him. As far as Deceit could tell, everyone thought Roman was fine. He clearly was not. Deceit glanced around to see if anyone else was there, someone who could perhaps talk to Roman? Seeing as how only Roman, Deceit and a stray intestine were available, he slowly made his way to Roman, sitting on the couch. 

"Ah, Deceit, perfect! Here, look these over will you?" Roman thrust a paper in his hand, not looking up once. "I want your honest opinion!" 

Deceit glanced at the paper. New video ideas. "Roman, do you really want my honest opinion?" 

"Of course! I wouldn't have asked otherwise." 

He folded the paper in half as Roman looked up expectantly. "I think this is unnecessary. We have already established that Thomas does not need an outline urgently."

"Sure, but it's still my job!" 

"Ah, pardon me, I thought you were creativity? Not a factory."

"Yeah, but _creating_ things is creativity!" 

"Is that all it is? Do you not also review and revise? Do you not also act on said creations? Roman, there are plenty of other things you need to do. Thomas still needs you for things other than 'new ideas'."

"I suppose so. I..."

"You know better than anyone else that you need to make good ideas, not multiple ideas. Quality over quantity."

Roman said nothing for a while, looking anywhere but at Deceit. He nodded, uncertain.

"I would suggest talking to Logan." Roman's head shot up. "You do owe him apology, and I'm sure he can help you as well."

"Yeah. I should do that. Thank you, Deceit."

***

_  
****  
_

E minus 4 months

Deceit yawned, closing his book. It was getting late and they were going to film the next Sanders Sides video tomorrow. His relation with the others was really getting better and better as the days went by. They were all getting along and they all seemed to enjoy his company - after all, he could tell when he was wanted and when he wasn't. Now he was wanted. Just the thought of it -

Was someone knocking or was he just imagining things? It was better to check, he could monologue in his head later. Stepping out of his room, the knocking become a lot more louder, someone was most definitely there. He snapped his fingers to open the door and Virgil shuffled in, a pillow under his arm. His hoodie was tied around his waist, blanket draped over him. 

"I'm sleeping here." He slurred, stumbling towards his room. 

"Your bed is no longer there, remember?" Was this some kind of sick joke? Something that he had wanted ever since Virgil had left, something he knew would only ever happen in his dreams: it was now happening in the most inconsequential way ever. How many times had Deceit hoped that Virgil would pop up down? How many times had he stared at the empty chair at their dining table? How many times did he dream about his best friend coming back? Here he was, and it was nothing like what he wanted. "What are you doing here?"

Virgil yawned, "Pissed..." WHAT? 

"Er, what now?"

"Patton's mad at me." Deceit wasn't sure whether he should have been video recording that or whether he should be sobbing on the floor. 

"What did you do?" What on Earth could _Virgil_ have possibly done to anger _Patton_? 

Virgil hummed, swaying on his feet. Deceit frowned, what was going on? He cleared the couch, motioning for Virgil's pillow. Virgil just squinted at him, slightly rocking. Moving towards him, he reached out as Virgil just slumped against him. 

"Uhh..." Virgil made no efforts to move, as Deceit slowly shuffled them towards the couch.

"You're nice." Virgil mumbled into Deceit's shoulder, as Deceit shook his head. Directing Virgil to the couch, he prayed that Virgil wouldn't remember any of this in the morning. He was already cringing at how awkward it would be. "Deceit, you made pancakes." Virgil announced as Deceit wondered whether it was normal for people who weren't drunk to be acting drunk. This was definitely concerning, people who were 'sleepy' most definitely did not act like this. Perhaps Virgil was high. Yes, that was more likely. Deceit nodded at Virgil, returning to his bed. 

When Deceit woke up at nine, Virgil was still fast asleep. Deceit sat at the kitchen island, drinking water, trying to think of what crimes Virgil could have committed to 'piss' Patton off. He couldn't think of anything, Patton _adored_ Virgil, what could he be mad about. When Virgil woke up, flustered and red, Deceit did his best to ignore the sheer embarrassment rolling off of him. 

"So, what did you do to Patton?"

Virgil winced behind his cup, blanket draped over his shoulders once again. "I yelled at him." 

"Sounds to me like Patton pissed you off." Virgil frowned, gulping his tea down. 

"I mean, I guess? He keeps on going overboard with the whole 'ah my innocent son' and it's so annoying! I mean, would you want to be called his 'baby snake'?"

"Virgil, if that's what daddy calls you -"

"EW! Me and Rem were just fucking around, and he comes in and is all 'oh no my poor baby don't do that aw' and it's so patronising and I hate it! And I've told him before that I don't like it when he does that but he just cries and then does the same thing again, I'm so sick of it!" This was Deceit's chance. He could so easily cast Patton is a horrible light, he could do what he always wanted, what he always dreamed of. He would have done it, too - in a fucking heart beat. But he knew that it would crush Patton, ~~like it crushed him~~ and he wouldn't wish that on anyone. 

"Look, I get what you're saying, but I think we all know that daddy -"

"- PLEASE STOP -"

"- means the best. He's not trying to hurt you, you know that. Besides, that's all you can do, give people chances." He couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth, couldn't believe what he was saying - and apparently, neither could Virgil. He was staring at Deceit, mouth hanging open. He blinked several times as Deceit looked at his water. 

"Look - uhhh." Deceit looked up, only to see Virgil blinking tears back furiously at his cup. "Hey, Patton's not that mad, I really don't think -"

"It's not that, you - urgh!" Tears finally streamed down Virgil's face. "I just, that is the, why are y-you being so nice?"

Deceit's brain was short-circuiting. He was at a loss for words, _he_ was being _nice_? Not the light sides, the others, _he_ was? That made little to no sense, he just did not do that ever. Virgil had described Deceit in a lot of ways. He was a freak, he was prickly, he was a liar, he was stubborn, he was a bitch, he was arrogant. He wasn't nice. When had he ever been nice? 

"After everything I did, after everything I said - you, you still." He wrung his hands, feet tapping. Deceit looked away. He knew that this was where he was supposed to hug Virgil and suddenly everything would be perfect and fine - he just couldn't bring himself to do that. Virgil was just two feet away, but Deceit made no move to go closer. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry -"

"What are you apologising for? You did what was best for you."

"I shouldn't have said what I did." He really shouldn't have. But he did anyways. 

"You just said what you thought was true." Virgil recoiled from him, looking very much like a kicked puppy.

"It's still not okay! And I was thinking absolute crap then!" How many times had Deceit wished for this? How many times had he wanted this? Why was this worse than the excruciating pain of being all alone? Why did it still hurt, still sting after all these years? He had wanted this and now he got it and he hated every second of this. He wanted nothing more than for this to stop. He didn't know what to do, Virgil was crying, wiping endless tears now, and Deceit was just looking away. He glanced at Virgil, face in his hands, silently shaking. Swallowing, he cautiously placed a hand on Virgil's shoulder. When he didn't rip it off and self destruct, he gently pulled him, not expecting Virgil to just bury his face in Deceit's shoulder. Deceit was still confused about where they stood. 

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

***

_  
****  
_

E minus 2 months

Thomas groaned, scrubbing at his eyes. They had been at it for half and hour now.

"Just leave him on read, Thomas!" Virgil groaned.

"What? No! Just answer, he could just be curious! This could be your one true love!" 

"Thomas, it is best that you elude the question in it's entirety." 

"Kiddo, just be truthful! You are who you are!"

"Send a nude! A good one, a juicy one, one with -" Remus' hand slapped over his mouth. 

"Deceit? Please, I just want one suggestion." Thomas begged, as Deceit smirked from the couch. His hat was over his eyes and he was having a blast watching everyone squirm. 

"Just some more time. I just really want to see you guys do this."

"So you have a solution?" Logan asked as Deceit shot up, fixing his hat. 

"Don't even look at me, Logan. I am ashamed. Everyone is rubbing on you, I can't believe you didn't get it." Logan shook his head. "It's okay, just self isolate for a few hours, your brain cells will return." 

"Well, kiddo?" Patton gestured to Thomas' phone. 

"Oh no, I still want you... buffoon, sorry Logan, to figure it out. So, Thomas, let's review shall we?" Thomas groaned again, throwing his hands up. 

"Sure, okay, whatever!"

"Attaboy. So, Joan's acquaintance messaged you. A few minutes later, said friend asked if you were gay."

"YES!" Virgil yelped, hands in his hair. 

"And now you aren't sure whether he's a homophobe or -"

Logan perked up, "We ask Joan!" 

Deceit nodded at him as Thomas ran his fingers through his hair. "Logan, I'm proud of you." Deceit motioned for Thomas to pick up his phone. 

"What if Joan feels -" 

"One step ahead of you, Virgil. Thomas can just say that he didn't know how close Joan was to this guy, hence why he asked in the first place. Joan will understand."

Thomas exhaled, a grin settling on his face. "Deceit, thanks a lot. I would've just panicked and left him on read or I dunno, murdered him somehow or something if it weren't for you. I didn't really think that this was your type of thing, though." 

"Thomas. You just needed some common sense. You know, you should have that in abundance."

***

_  
****  
_

E minus 0 months

Virgil muffled laugh rang through the mindscape, escaping from between Deceit's fingers. Roman shook silently beside them, grasping Logan's hand as the logical side did his best to look composed. Patton was sprawled on the ground, hands clutching his stomach as he writhed,

"C'mon! Are you telling me that this isn't a look?!" Remus cried out, hands on his hips. Deceit tore his eyes away from that abomination.

"Rem..." He snorted halfway through the sentence, as Remus shook his head, changing his outfit back. 

"You guys just don't have refined taste!" He exclaimed, trying to hide his own smile. "Anyways. Dee, are you going down to your man-cave?"

"Don't call it that! We all know it's a man pad, at best." Virgil wheezed.

"Right, right! Can you get my mold box for me?" 

"As long as I don't have to touch it, sure." Deceit prepared to sink out, it was way easier to get things from the dark mindscape to the light mindscape if he was physically there. He wasn't sure why, but it was what it was. "Be right back." And with that, he sunk out. 

Only to reappear in the living room again, just on the other side of the couch. Virgil got up, a smile creeping across his face. 

"Try again." His voice was devoid of the emotions on his face. Deceit did. He appeared on next to Logan who was also smiling at him. Roman and Patton exchanged glances, and Roman nodded, racing towards the stairs. What was happening? Why wasn't he able to go back, why was everyone so happy - 

"DECEIT! IT'S HERE!" Roman yelled as Virgil jumped over the couch, throwing his arms around Deceit's neck. Patton tackled them both as they fell. 

"Your room has shifted, Deceit." Logan crouched by his head. "Thomas' subconscious has shifted you here. And now that you are here, none of the room's in the dark mindscape are of any use. I think you'll be able to summon all of your belongings, if that's why you look so - oh." 

"Aw, kiddo, don't cry!"

"No, no, no! This is awesome! Cry it all out! Scream if you want! Scream about how much you want to cut your head off, if that's what you want!"

"A tackle pile that I wasn't invited to?" Logan yelped as Remus and Roman pushed him onto the pile, booming laughter bouncing around. 

"Can't breathe. Can't breathe!"

**Author's Note:**

> YALL WHAT A RIDE!!!!!! ohh im so excited!! the new video is going up tomorrow (hopefully) and this is ending!!!!!!!!! im so grateful to every single person who left comments, you all gave me the inspiration and motivation i needed :,) thank you all for you kind words!!!! 
> 
> lmk if you see a typo  
> and i hope you like it ❤️💕
> 
> side plotlines here at: [when i wake up i see (you with me)](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1729171)


End file.
